How did I get here without pants?

I have this thought in the restroom periodically, on the rare occasions I wear a skirt to work. Usually when I'm finished I'll reach down and haul my pants back into position. When I'm wearing a skirt, though, there's nothing TO pull up.

And so I panic momentarily, wondering why I'm not wearing pants, and how I got all the way to work without any in the first place.

I'm alive, I swear!

Holy Moses, I can't believe I haven't updated since July. Gives you an idea of how crazy my life is these days.

So crazy, in fact, that I am now the proud owner of High Blood Pressure! Yes, yours truly was whisked away to the doctor's a few weeks ago, where the verdict was 201/130. I was given something fun to crash it while they watched me for an hour and told me if it didn't work they'd transfer me to UH.

Which, of course, did nothing for my blood pressure.

Anyway.

I have to go see a hypertension specialist, get ultrasounds of my heart and kidneys, an echocardiogram, and I'm on more pills than Heath Ledger.

Just ask Mary-Kate Olsen.

I told you people. I so effing told you people.

Group work in an online class setting?

FAIL.

I got stuck with the Desperate Housewives contingent, who worked only part time if at all and were overzealous about getting our group's work in by Friday so they could have the entire weekend to take their kids to soccer practice and sit at Stabucks and get botox.

More than once, these people left me almost nothing to do on the weekends. Um, hi, I work, bitches. One of them even emailed me AT WORK to ask me if I was going to do the assignment soon...um, no, you idiot, I'm AT WORK at the moment. Kthxbai.

So they took it out on me in the peer evaluation. One of them said, and I quote, "did not check in for multiple days at a time due to (my) job."

Digest that.

I didn't check in and do work when they wanted me to because of MY JOB.

Fuck you, your children, your family, all you stand for, the horse you rode in on, your momma, and yourself again for good measure.

Dear Giant Cable Company Run by Media's Favorite Assclown: Part II

No, I am NOT going to waste my time fixing YOUR mistake by going down to the local office, standing in line with my driver's license and my social security number, so that you can correctly enter my socical security number on my account. I refuse to be inconvenienced because of your fuck up.

On second thought...why do you need my social security number anyway?

You guys suck.

Dear Giant Cable Company Run by Media's Favorite Assclown

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

1. You hit me with a $94.18 COD charge when my friendly neighborhood cable guy pulled into my driveway and opened his truck door.

2. You are apparently unable to enter my actual social security number, thus rendering me unable to yell at you and make you credit me aforementioned $94.18. Incorrect social security number + no account number (really? did you REALLY think I had one of these? I don't even have your cable services yet, let alone a bill; how did you think I was going to actually have an account number?) = nobody can make changes on my account.

3. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

4. You didn't provide me with the DVR I wanted and ordered. Cable guy told me I would have to reschedule another install for the correct unit. Customer service agent made me wait 30 minutes whilst she "activated" something. DVR still does not work; I will not be getting those 30 minutes of my life back.

Also, I hate statistics and I require Funyuns.

That is all.

Blogroll Update Alert!

Because I love you all very, very much, and I only want what's best for you and for you to eat your vegetables and grow up to find a nice Jewish doctor to marry, I've added more blogs for your purusing pleasure. What blogs have to do with finding nice Jewish doctors to marry I really don't know, but I saw it on The Nanny so it must be true.

EE writes a killer blog about finding her path through adulthood and motherhood, and if you're lucky enough that she posts pictures of the adorable Notorious P.U.N.K., your ovaries may explode.

And as soon as I can get Six's blog to actually appear on my computer instead of a blank page, I'll link hers up too. Randomosity at its best.

Enjoy, my little minions.

ETA: Hey, looky. I can work linkage.

I'm going to die

We did 31 miles in and out of the Valley today. In addition to doing a particular hill that happens to be 3 miles long, the wind was horrendous and was blowing us every which way but forward. I cannot remember the last time I worked so hard on the bike.

I am WIPED. My tush is sore, my legs are sore, my lungs ache, and I have no feeling in my nether regions.